Just look at this terrifying recipe I found on the back of a supermarket bag of "Chow Mein Noodles", which are those weird crunchy fried things. Just to be on the safe side I'll call it Brand X instead of its real name:

2 6oz cans Brand X tuna, drained
6 hard boiled eggs
1 c. celery, diced
1 6oz package frozen pea pods
4 T. green onions, chopped
1 8oz can sliced water chestnuts, drained
1 8oz can sliced bamboo shoots, drained
2 cups steamed rice, cooled
1 cup Brand X mayonnaise
1 tsp. soy sauce
6oz Brand X Chow Mein Noodles

Toss together tuna, eggs, celery, pea pods, onion, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots and mayonnaise. Combine rice and soy sauce, blend into tuna mixture. Serve salad surrounded and garnished with Brand X Chow Mein Noodles. Serves 4-6.

I swear it's a fucking miracle that I manage to walk around with the least shred of dignity, being downright surrounded & garnished with this type of thing.

Oh... excuse my language... I was driven to it... honestly.